Unspoken Words

 Silence watched as she picked up shards of broken words Silence watched as they pierced through her heart over and over again Silence watched as it deafened her more than the screams she heard moments ago Silence watched as she tried to stitch the relationship every unsaid word tore Silence wanted to be broken, broken like she was So, silence became loud enough to crack a glass It brought lingering tension enough to feel like a tightrope walk Silence became loud enough for her to scream But watched as it lingered in the air as unspoken words

Tug me back when I try to walk away, grab my waist like you can keep me here, hold me too tight, love me too hard. But when I'm exhausted, when my body is weak against yours, brush the strands from my face. Tuck me into your arms. Ruin me, but rest me against your chest. Own me, but remind me I'm safe. Hold me like a promise you'll never break. Love me like a love song, love me like in the books. Be my rock when I fall apart but at the same time, melt beneath my touch. Kiss my lips like they're made of glass. Lace our fingers together like threads of the same cloth. Kiss my forehead, my hands, my cheeks, like they're a part of me you're trying to keep. Reassure me when I'm in doubt, be the bay where I can push my thoughts away. Breathe me in like I'm your oxygen. Worship my every curve, every smile, every part of me. Let your favorite color be the color of my eyes, let your favorite sound be my laughter, let your favorite sight be my smile. And when the ...

 Afraid of nothing changing of being stuck in this loop until my very last breath. But I’m also afraid of the opposite of everyone growing up and growing apart. Of losing the comfort in the simplest things the ones that made me feel just a little warmer, a little closer to a home that never really existed. There’s this lingering melancholy like I’m watching life unfold from a distance, yet somehow, I’m still part of it, crystal clear and vivid. My thoughts are a mess but as clear as they’ve ever been. I’m scared of losing everyone, but even more afraid because I think I’ve already lost myself. I’m disassociating. I see blue, black, and red where I once saw clear shapes, defined edges, and light. I feel lonely, but not quite alone. There’s an emptiness inside me stirring quietly when no one calls my phone. I need people to feel grounded, yet I crave solitude all the same. My mind is always drifting, like a stray without a name. I find peace in books or...

If you would see me staring at my reflection for too long You would see the fear in my eyes, the fear like in a storm If you would hear the things I tell myself You'd tell me I'm not wrong But you'd know that I already knew it all along You'd know how much I loathe myself You'd know all my insecurities Dear Ima, am I that hideous, For you to tell me what's under my sleeve? If you would see me staring at myself in the mirror You'd know that it's not admiration, it's not self-love at all You would know how much I hate myself If you'd see the way I look at myself You would find yourself in there You'd see the way I look at my reflection is exactly like your stare Dear Ima, am I that hideous? Am I that bad? Am I a perfect reflection of yourself when you look at me like that Dear Ima, are you happy? Knowing I hate myself too That you're not the only one who hates themselves too Dear Ima, am I that ugly for you to look at me like that? Would yo...

  The comfort found in the feeling of sadness can never be found in joy The solace of crying to sad songs is like playing with their favourite toy The familiarity with grief is like finding their best friend in a crowd of unknown  Tears are their peace at the end of every difficult day Numbness is a sign they have grown Maybe that's why one fears happiness Because they're afraid of change Perhaps they're scared to heal Because the last link they have to what they lost is their pain In every good thing, one finds the bad Every memorable moment is destroyed because they constantly fear that something will go wrong They can never seem to accept good things can last long They wonder if they'll ever allow themselves to feel joy again  If their inner child manages to find its way outside Maybe they'll be happy then But at the end of the day  It's always the same songs The same feeling of something going wrong  So they don't let the wounds heal Because the feeling ...

Standing amidst shards of shattered words Picking up every single piece just for her heart to be pierced over and over again Silence more deafening than the screams  That echoed moments before, Trying to stitch the relationship every unsaid word tore She wanted to say more, She wanted to scream, To shout But her voice was held hostage by fear of what might shatter next. Each moment of silence, loud enough to crack a glass Each moment of lingering tension, like walking on a tightrope If the silence breaks, So does the glass So does the heart So does she. For the silence is not her ally For these unspoken words lurk around like threats behind those pursed lips For these unspoken words are heavier than speech Behind those grinding teeth. She’s afraid. So she lets the silence linger, Like a shadow, Of the flame that is her. Unspoken words. They either break others Or they break her.